Every Lebaran, there is always that one question from distant relatives that makes you want to disappear.
It can be, “When will you get married?” if you are single. “Do you plan to have another baby?” if you are married. Or, “Where do you live now?” when they just want something to have a small talk.
For me this year, the question I dreaded most was, “How’s [insert your company name here] doing?” Usually, it comes with a follow-up about the product.
“Eh, Widhi, how’s Apple doing? I just bought a new iPhone. How to change the font size, ya?”
I have always been identified by where I worked. Sometimes I was Widhi Apple. Another time, Widhi Sony Music. But never just Widhi.
This year was different, though. I no longer work for any company. I got retrenched. I am currently without a job.
And yes… I got that question.
For a moment, I wanted to disappear. My mind whispered, “Hide.” I felt small. Ashamed. Like I wanted to sink into the sofa. I was afraid of being judged.
But life does not really give us a skip button. I wish.
So I took a deep breath. I looked them in the eyes and said,
“I just got retrenched, and I am exploring new ventures.”
What happened next, I did not expect.
There is no awkward silence. No pity looks. Just genuine curiosity about what I’m building next. Some even offered to support me. Subhanallah, I did not see that coming. It lifted something inside me.
I realised that most of my fear was living only in my head. It was my own story, my own assumptions. When I finally said the truth out loud, something shifted. My body relaxed. My thoughts cleared. It felt liberating.
Maybe this is what tawakkul looks like. Not the absence of fear, but choosing honesty and trusting Allah with what comes next.
I am grateful for their response. I still worry about income, about stability, about the future. I am human, after all. But at least now I know this. I am accepted as I am, not because of a company name. I am no longer carrying a label. Just me.
And maybe that one uncomfortable moment was not there to expose me. It was there to free me. I just need to believe in myself. And trust that Allah is already writing something better ahead.
And all it took was that one question.
